I have a secret. Don’t worry, it’s not headlice. 

Today Mel Robbins, the author of a life changing book called the 5 Second Rule, (she is also an ex-lawyer which is what I aspire to be!!) revealed an embarassing secret on her facebook page. She has lice. Her selfie with a box of NIX was shared with 103,000 people! The point she made, was that somebody had headlice and kept it a secret. Silently infecting others along the way, and keeping secrets from people is never fair.

In my case, my secret won’t hurt anyone and it is far from embarassing. Vulnerable maybe, but not at all embarassing.

It isn’t even really a secret. It’s just something I have been working on in secret. I guess that’s a little different. But I don’t think it’s fair to keep it hidden.

I am hand writing the Bible from begining to end. I am halfway through Exodus Chapter 36 of a 1944 printing of the King James bible.

I was going to keep it private for a number of reasons.

First, it’s a big commitment. It would have been cool to finish and have a big reveal when, and if, I got to the end. Like four years from now. I liked that idea. I also was afraid to announce and this then flake out and never finish.

Second, for some reason, I have always been very quiet about my faith, and this project was really just between me and god. Quiet, meaning insecure.
Third, I didn’t want to share the project. I wanted it to be all mine. I didn’t even share it with my husband for a few weeks. I intended to learn God inside-out and not share him with anyone.

But fourth, and ultimately the biggest reason, I was afraid of what people would think. Some of my thoughts, even as writing this were:

“Who am I to talk about anything with the bible?”

“What if people think I am trying to be better at the Bible than them?”

“I don’t have fancy notebooks and I got sloppy with my handwriting. I shouldn’t show this to anyone”

“People will think I am just being flashy or showing off.”

I kept this secret because I have a unique relationship with God that I never talk about. My past is more colorful than many people realize and my struggles are a lot harder than I ever make them out to be, but the one constant in my life has always been God.

I have a faith that guides me daily and I never say much about it. I take way too much credit for the good times in my life, and I show way too much independence during the bad times. I never respond to prayer request posts, I never make them myself, I rarely post scripture, even less so do I quote it.

I got this idea because I wanted to hand write the Michigan Court Rules. Writing slows me down, prevents me from mindlessly scrolling through pages, doesn’t let me skip over the boring parts, and gives me an opportunity to think as I take in the information. Also, I remember things I write down better, so it’s easier to cross reference ideas. I thought that would make me the best lawyer in Michigan real quick. Only, I hate being a lawyer, so why would I want to be the best one?

I don’t know why, but it just struck me that there was another, better book of law out there that I should understand first.

And then I thought, if someone sees me doing this that they might want to do it too. So it’s worth sharing.

It’s rude to keep secrets.

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